For such a long time I have lived in a state of numbness. I have lived in the past with so much sadness, anger, and bitterness. It was a way of living for me. Until, recently. I have been so tired of holding the weight of the past. It has caused me to lose loved ones, not enjoy life, to be distant, and to exist with a broken heart. It’s made things so complicated and messy. In fact, I feel I have lost so much time because I have lived this way since 2009 (13 years to be exact). Life truly is a tough journey.
One thing that I do now that helps me is to breathe in and out. Being mindful of my breathing allows me to center myself. If I wander far in my mind to a painful memory or anxious thought, I say words to bring me back. I gently tell myself in my mind “come back. Come one, Jess, come back”. I say it slowly and breathe calmly to recenter myself. I begin to focus on where I am at, and what I feel in my body. If there is tension in my shoulders, I relax them. If my fist is clenched, I shake my hands. Once I am fully present and no longer lost in thought, I just tell myself “Welcome back, Jess. Welcome to the now”. I then will take breaths of gratitude. I’ll think of something I am grateful for, say it in my mind, and then breathe in and out as a sign of gratitude. This very technique has calmed panic attacks. I am so thankful for this!
Maybe it sounds odd that I do this. To be honest, it helps me. I am more mindful of when I wander in my mind now. This has provided me with a simple way to be aware of the present and to live in it. It always makes me think that I have wasted so much time of thought. It feels good to live in the present!
If you get lost in your thoughts, I encourage you to find a way that you can be brought back to the present. Try this method and see if it helps.
Sending positive vibes to you, wherever you are.
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